Debut Albums and Young Man

A Talking Frog An older gentleman was playing a round of golf. Suddenly his ball sliced and landed in a shallow pond. As he was attempting to retrieve the ball he discovered a frog who, to his great surprise, started to speak! â€Å"Kiss me, and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a week. † He picked up the frog and placed it in his pocket. As he continued to play golf, the frog repeated its message. â€Å"Kiss me, and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a whole month! The man continued to play his golf game and once again the frog spoke out. Kiss me,and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a whole year! † Finally, the old man turned to the frog and exclaimed, â€Å"At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog! † The Last Ticket During a busy holiday weekend, a woman who was eight months pregnant went to the railway station to return home to her husband. At the reservation counter, when her turn came, there was only one ticket left.Taking pity on a very old lady behind her in line, she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which arrived with a small error: â€Å"Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, ave birth to an old lady. † A Business Loan A businessman walked into a bank in San Francisco and asked for the loan officer. He told the officer that he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The bank officer explained that the bank needed some kind of security for such a loan. So the businessman handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.Everything checked out, and the bank agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan. A bank employee drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there. Two weeks later, the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 with interest, which came to $15. 41. The loan officer said, â€Å"We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000? The businessman replied, â€Å"Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for only 15 bucks? † A Big Decision A six-year-old boy walked up to his father one day and announced, ‘Daddy, I'd like to get married. His father replied hesitantly, ‘Sure, son, do you have anyone special in mind? ‘ ‘Yes,' answered the boy. ‘l want to marry Grandma. ‘ ‘Now, wait a minute,' said his father. ‘You dont think I'd let you get married with my mother, do you? ‘ Why not? ‘ the boy asked. ‘You married mine. ‘ 100 Penguins A truck driver was driving 100 penguins to the New York Zoo when his truck broke down on the freeway.The driver got out of the cab and was looking at the engine when a second truck driver stopped in front of him and asked if he needed any help. The penguins' driver explained that ne was taking the penguins to the zoo and asked f the other man would take the penguins there. He agreed. Some hours later, the second truck driver drove past the first one, who was still waiting on the freeway for help to come. The penguins, however, were still on the truck! â€Å"l thought I asked you to take those penguins to the zoo,† shouted the first driver. The second replied, â€Å"l did, but I had some money left, so we're going to the cinema now. Supermarket Encounter A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. â€Å"Pardon me,† she said, â€Å"I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's Just that you look Just like my son who Just died recently. † â€Å"I'm very sorry,† replied the young man, â€Å"Is there anything I can do for you? † â€Å"Yes,† she said. â€Å"As I'm leaving, can you say ‘Goodbye mother'? It would make me feel much better. â€Å"Sure,† answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, â€Å"Goodbye mother! † As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127. 50. â€Å"How can that be? † he asked, â€Å"l only purchased a few things! â€Å"Your mother said that you would pay for her,† said the clerk. Do you deserve to enter heaven? A man died and went to heaven. An angel met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, ‘Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you – we've examined your whole life, and you really didn't do anything particularly good or bad. We're not sure whether we can admit you into heaven or not.Can you tell us anything exceptional you did that can help us make a decision? ‘ The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, ‘Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a group of goons. So I pulled over, got out my tire iron, and went up to the leader of the gang. He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him that he and his gang had better stop bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me! ‘ ‘I'm impressed,' The angel responded, When did this happen? The man replied, ‘About two minutes ago'. Return my horse! A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers. When he finished his drink, he ound his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without ev en looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. â€Å"Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!? † he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. â€Å"Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I did in Texas!